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Maverick Hunted X (part 1)
By Jade
Story Idea by Brick
It’s late afternoon in Megalopolis as the Alpha Movement tears down the street, pursued by Jack Bauer at the helm of a hulking four-legged mecha.
 JADE: It’s no use! Our weapons are having no effect on that monstrosity!
 BLACKBELT: That’s not just any old alloy protecting that thing.
 JACK BAUER: You’re correct! It’s pointless to stop my new Tort-o-matic that Signas constructed for me. Now stop your running and give me your best shot!
Mandrill fires off a salvo of Electric Sparks at the metallic beast, but the electricity is absorbed by the armored skin, channeling it into several electrified cables emerging from the mech’s back.
 SPARK: Grr…
JACK BAUER: Thanks for the snack, monkey-man. Now it’s time for the main course!
The cables snare Launch and Armdillo, shocking them severely in the process.
JACK BAUER: Of course, I’ve been through the Hunter’s records, so I know how much electricity hurts you two the most!
Jack has the two at a disadvantage, but it doesn’t last long, as a Boomerang Cutter severs the cables.
 DARK KNIGHT: I hope that’s not the only weapon that silly toy has!
AM blasts the side with a Fire Wave, but it does little more than leave a scorch mark. The others fire on it, having no better luck penetrating the thick hide.
JACK BAUER: Enough! Time to put an end to this. Say hello to my secret weapon!
The mecha emits a powerful force ray, binding the Mavericks and rendering them unable to move.
 DARKSAGE: Huh? I can’t move!
DARK KNIGHT: I can’t even teleport out of this! It’s some kind of tractor beam!
 ANIME MASTER: Where’s Obi Wan when you need him?
JACK BAUER: Now, you’re all under arrest. Time to take you all back to HQ, reintroduce you to the unholy trinity – Saban, 4-Kids, and DiC – and go pick up my bonus from General Signas!
Suddenly, a plasma shot rings out, the blast demolishing one of the legs of the craft, and damaging the force beam holding the Alpha Movement in place. Everyone looks in the direction of the shot.
ALL: X?!
JACK BAUER: X, what do you think you’re doing?! This is treason!
 MEGAMAN X: Shut the hell up, Bauer. (Points his buster at the cockpit) You’ve got five seconds to clear out before they’ll have to scrape your remains out of that thing with a spoon.
Wisely, Jack jumps out and runs away.
JACK BAUER: You bastard, X! I’m reporting this to Signas and you’ll be executed as a Maverick!
MEGAMAN X: Quite frankly, I don’t give a damn.
Bauer flees the scene, while the Alpha Movement looks at X in awe, yet still keeping their guard up.
JADE: Um… Are you really X?
MEGAMAN X: (Sarcastically) No, it’s Zero. Can’t you tell?
SPARK: Wow, it’s really you, Zero?! You actually look masculine.
 SEADRAGON: (Whacks Spark) Quit being an idiot.
JADE: That still doesn’t explain why you’d help us.
MEGAMAN X: Because I want to join you. I want to be a Maverick
ALPHA MOVEMENT: (In shock)
DARK KNIGHT: And why, pray tell, would you want to join us?
MEGAMAN X: That’s easy. I’m tired of being the goody-good-guy hero. All the times I’ve risked my life to save humanity, and I hardly receive a word of praise! Nope, it’s a half-assed pat on the back and it’s off to save the world again. It’s obvious now that I’m just a tool to be used by the humans. Well, I’ve had it! I want to join the Mavericks and make them all sorry for making me their little errand boy!
The Alpha Movement continues to look on in amazement. Clearly this was the last person they expected to hear this from. Finally, Launch speaks up.
JADE: Well, it all sounds fine and dandy. But how do we know this isn’t all just a scam to infiltrate our base?
MEGAMAN X: I suppose it’s pointless to just say, “trust me”, huh?
 BRICK: Probably.
JADE: Then deactivate your weapon systems. We’ll take you to see Sigma and let him decide what to do with you.
MEGAMAN X: Understood.
***
And so, X is taken before Sigma at the Maverick HQ. There, X explains everything that’s happened up until now, including his reasons for defecting to the Mavericks.
 SIGMA: I see. Very interesting. So all of what you say is true?
MEGAMAN X: It is.
JADE: And Alia’s not putting out for him either.
MEGAMAN X: Hey! I didn’t ask for your input!
JADE: Well I figured that had to have something to do with it also.
MEGAMAN X: Shut up.
 VILE: Both of you shut up! (Turns to Sigma) Sir, it’s obvious that this is a clever ruse by the Hunters for X to infiltrate our HQ, and these eight boneheads bought his act hook, line, and sinker. I suggest they all be severely punished and that X be terminated immediately!
SIGMA: Take it easy, would you? X, I’d like nothing more than to see you join the Maverick cause. Not only will you be a great asset in terms of firepower, but seeing you in our ranks will severely demoralize the Hunters. But it’s apparent that I can’t just take your word for it. You’ll have to earn your place in this organization. For that reason, I’ve decided to accept you on a… trial basis if you will.
MEGAMAN X: (Bows his head) Understood, sir.
VILE: What?! You can’t be serious, Sigma! This is a trap; I’m sure of it!
SIGMA: (Frowns) Are you saying I don’t know what I’m doing, Vile?
VILE: …! N… No sir!
SIGMA: Good. (He motions to the Alpha Movement) You will be working under them for the time being. If you indeed betray us, they have clearance to kill you on sight. Demonstrate your loyalty to me, you will earn a more permanent position at my side!
MEGAMAN X: Very good, sir.
SIGMA: Excellent. You may go, all of you.
VILE: (Frowns, to himself) I don’t believe this… What’s he mean “at his side”? Sigma had better not be planning to replace me with this blue bastard. This guy’s a phony; I just know it! And I’m gonna prove it!
***
Meanwhile, at Maverick Hunter HQ.
JACK BAUER: … And I would’ve caught those Mavericks for certain had X not turned against us! He’s clearly gone Maverick and should be shut down immediately!
 SIGNAS: Agent Bauer… Do you honestly expect me to believe that load of bull?
JACK BAUER: I know it’s hard to believe, but it’s true! I saw it with my own eyes!
SIGNAS: Oh? I recall spending the day with X down at the golf course. He was with me all day, Bauer.
JACK BAUER: Impossible! I know what I saw, and…
SIGNAS: (Glares) Are you calling me a liar?!
JACK BAUER: …
SIGNAS: You have not only failed consistently to capture or kill the Alpha Movement, despite the resources I’ve provided for you, now you attempt to pass the buck by blaming one of my most trusted officers for your failure?! You are dismissed, Bauer. Get out of my sight.
JACK BAUER: But sir, I…
SIGNAS: (Slams his fist on his desk as he rears up) I SAID YOU’RE DISMISSED!!
Reluctantly, Bauer shuffles out of Signas’s office.
JACK BAUER: Goddamned hippie… I know X is a traitor and I’m gonna prove it!
***
Back at the Maverick Base, X gets the orientation from Launch and the others (and by that we mean hazing).
JADE: Okay X-Lax, Sigma says that you have to do whatever we say or we can blast you right here and now. With that in mind… Are you ready for your first assignment?
MEGAMAN X: Yes I am.
JADE: Then go get us 12 cases of beer, an X-Box 2880, 20 bags of chips, and a stack of porn about this high (hand up to about the level of his eyes).
MEGAMAN X: Um… I’m not sure this is what Sigma had in mind…
SEADRAGON: Well, that’s too bad. (Raises arm cannon) I guess we’ll have to tell Sigma you wouldn’t cooperate after all.
MEGAMAN X: All right! All right! I’ll get your damn beer, and your X-Box, and your chips.
JADE: Don’t forget the porn.
MEGAMAN X: (Curses under his breath as he walks out the door)
DARK KNIGHT: Words do not describe how awesome this is.
JADE: I’ll say. X waits on us hand and foot, and if he says no we get to clobber his ass.
SPARK: Hell yeah!
***
Across town, X is busy completing his mission objectives.
MEGAMAN X: Frikkin’ Mavericks… Making me their stupid errand boy… *grumble, grumble…*
Around the corner, X is being watched…
JACK BAUER: What’s he doing over there? He’s up to something, I know it! You, go find out what he’s up to.
 TYPHOON ROBIN: Me?! But if you’re right, X would blow me to bits without a second thought!
JACK BAUER: Shut up and just get out there. The rest of the squad is ready to back you up if there’s trouble.
Nervously, Typhoon approaches X.
TYPHOON ROBIN: Um… Hey X. Uh… Nice day, huh?
MEGAMAN X: Yeah… Great… What do you want, feather brain?
TYPHOON ROBIN: Oh… Nothing… Just happened across you… wondering what you’re up to… (looks at one of the books X is holding) What’s this…? “Androids Gone Wild: Crystalchan and Burstgirl Go ‘Undercover’”? X, you dog! I didn’t know you were into that stuff!
MEGAMAN X: I… I’m not! It’s for someone else! Uh… Zero asked me to get it for him, okay?!
TYPHOON ROBIN: Sure he did… So uh… What’re you doing after this?
MEGAMAN X: None of your damn business! Now get lost!
TYPHOON ROBIN: Um… Sure thing, boss…
Robin is in no hurry to get out as he runs out of the store and back to the others.
 NOVA BRONTAUR: So, anything?
TYPHOON ROBIN: Nope. He’s just out buying porn.
 FLASHING CHIMPANZER: Serious? Awesome! Wonder what kind of a stash he has back at base?
JACK BAUER: Knock it off! There’s more to it than just smut! He’s a Maverick now, I tell you! We’re just gonna have to keep an eye on him and wait for him to reveal his intentions!
From a distance away, Vile was watching X and Robin’s exchange from the shadows.
VILE: What was he talking to that Zeta clown about? He’s up to something…
***
Back at Maverick HQ, X finally returns.
DARK KNIGHT: Took you long enough.
MEGAMAN X: Lay off. Those Hunter freaks were tailing me. I had to give them the slip.
JADE: Well, you got the stuff we asked for, so I’d say that’s a job well done.
SEADRAGON: For now…
MEGAMAN X: Thank you, sir.
JADE Yeah, yeah. Now let’s have a look at those magazines…
SPARK: (Downs a whole case of beer in one swig)
JADE: Gee, same some for the rest of us, why don’t ya?!
MEGAMAN X: (To himself) Jeez… What a bunch of simpletons… I hope this isn’t gonna last long…
To be continued...
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