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Maverick Hunted X (part 2)
By Jade
Story Idea by Brick
Jack Bauer moves through the back alleys of Megalopolis. He stops and glances behind him to make sure he’s not being followed.
 JACK BAUER: That dimwitted Zeta Squad is only going to get in my way. I’m sure they believe X is innocent as well. (He continues through the alleyways into a nondescript building.) With that in mind, I’ve decided to contact a neutral party to help me out. And why the hell am I talking to myself??
Jack climbs the stairway onto the roof of the building. He’s greeted by a man with short black hair and wearing a black trenchcoat and dark sunglasses (despite the fact that it’s nighttime).
JACK BAUER: Keanu Reeves, I presume.
 KEANU REEVES: I am The One.
JACK BAUER: Good. Where’s Tom?
KEANU REEVES: He should be along shortly.
Suddenly, a bright light pierces the sky, touching down right next to the two figures. It is a teleportation field, from which emerges the third person.
KEANU REEVES: Whoa.
JACK BAUER: Good evening, Tom Cruise.
 TOM CRUISE: Evenin’ (Calls up to the sky) Thanks for the lift, Xenu!
JACK BAUER: Now that you’re both here, I suppose we can get underway.
He leads the two newcomers back downstairs, into a room with a large supercomputer.
JACK BAUER: Mr. Reeves, you still have the file I sent you?
KEANU REEVES: Of course.
Reeves takes out a cable and connects one end to a serial port in his head, the other to Bauer’s computer.
JACK BAUER: Bring up the file on Megaman X. (Reeves does so, and a detailed file and statistics appear on the monitor. This is our target. His name is Megaman X. Once a respected and decorated hero, now nothing more than a Maverick.
TOM CRUISE: No, I’m Maverick!
JACK BAUER: Quiet, you. Mavericks are evil machines bent on global destruction!
KEANU REEVES: Then they must be plotting to destroy Zion!
JACK BAUER: Whatever. Anyway, Tom, your mission, should you choose to accept it (not really; you’re accepting it whether you choose to or not), is to tail X and report to me any suspicious activities. Reeves, I want you to keep to the rooftops and assist Tom should X see him and turn violent.
KEANU REEVES: That would be most righteous.
JACK BAUER: Okay then. For now, we’ll watch and wait for X to appear.
***
The next morning.
 MEGAMAN X: Good morning. What is my next assignment? (to himself) Oh god, don’t let it be another beer run…)
 JADE: It’s time you got your feet wet, X. You’ll come with me and AM into the city and look for any kind of trouble to stir up.
And so, the three of them head out.
 ANIME MASTER: I hope we run into Zero or Axl. Boy will they be in for a surprise.
JADE: I wouldn’t mind seeing X take apart the Zeta Squad myself.
MEGAMAN X: Wait. We’re being followed.
ANIME MASTER: By whom?
JACK BAUER: By me!
The Mavericks look up to see Jack Bauer clinging to a nearby fire escape, with his two cohorts accompanying him.
JACK BAUER: At last you show yourself, X! You were easy to find thanks to their help!
JADE: And who the heck are your new playmates?
KEANU REEVES: We are… WILD STALLIONZ!!! (plays air guitar)
 METABAD: Now THIS guy can rawk!! (they both air guitar)
EVERYONE ELSE: … (sweatdrop)
METABAD: Geez, some audience you are… (leaves)
ANIME MASTER: Hey, isn’t that Keanu Reeves?
JADE: That’s him, all right. Who’s the fruity-looking guy?
JACK BAUER: Don’t you recognize Tom Cruise?
JADE: Oh, is that who it is? I wouldn’t know. His movies suck.
TOM CRUISE: (cries) They do noooot!!
JADE: Okay, okay… Last Samurai was good.
TOM CRUISE: *sniff* Really…?
JACK BAUER: Enough of this nonsense! Get them!
MEGAMAN X: About time…
The two leap down.
TOM CRUISE: You want the truth, you can’t handle the truth! Show me the money!
KEANU REEVES: You’ll have a hard time against me… (poses) I know kung-fu.
ANIME MASTER: (snaps) No!! No you don’t!! You don’t know kung-fu!! You never did know kung-fu!! And you never will know kung-fu!! So just shut up about the goddamned kung-fu!!!
KEANU REEVES: Bu… but… But I do know kung-fu… (now he starts crying)
JADE: Whoa… what the hell got into you all the sudden, AM?
ANIME MASTER: I don’t know… That phrase must’ve given me a relapse or something…
MEGAMAN X: Who cares? Let’s just smoke these bitches!
He fires a Twin Slasher that rips both Cruise and Reeves to shreds.
JADE: …
ANIME MASTER: …
JACK BAUER: …!
MEGAMAN X: … What?
JACK BAUER: WHAT THE HELL?!?
JADE & ANIME MASTER: That was awesome!!
JACK BAUER: (sputters) You… you just… X just killed two humans!! He IS a Maverick!! Just you wait, X! I’m reporting immediately to General Signas, and then you’ll have the entire Maverick Hunter forces at your throat! Just wait and see!!
He runs away.
JADE: High five, X!!
MEGAMAN X: I’d rather not.
JADE: Oh.
ANIME MASTER: We have got to tell Sigma about this!
Back at the Maverick base.
 SIGMA: Well, well. So our boy scout has killed two humans in cold blood, you say?
JADE: That’s right, sir. AM was there too. He can vouch too.
SIGMA: I see. Excellent job, X. Sounds to me like you mean what you say. Very well, you are a Maverick from this day forward!
 VILE: Sir! You can’t…!
SIGMA: Not another word, Vile. X did kill a couple of humans. Are you still unconvinced?
VILE: I… I don’t know, sir.
SIGMA: Then keep your mouth shut before I shove my lightsaber up your ass!
VILE: … Yes sir…
MEGAMAN X: (bows) I’m honored, Sigma.
SIGMA: As am I to have you in my ranks. You are dismissed.
Later, that evening, down in Dr. Wily’s secret lab beneath the HQ…
 DR WILY: (sighs) It sure gets lonely spending all your days in a secret underground lab. Nothing ever seems to happen…
Suddenly, the sound of turrets firing outside fill the room, along with the sound of something smashing against the armored door.
DR WILY: I knew that would do the trick.
A Gaia Shield crashes through the gate as an armored figure all too familiar to the mad scientist walks in.
DR WILY: It’s you…!! Megaman?!
MEGAMAN X: Good evening, doctor.
Wily reaches for the button to activate his robot masters, which are currently on standby. X anticipates this move, however, and fires a buster shot, frying the console.
DR WILY: What? What are you doing here?! I… I haven’t done anything… yet…
MEGAMAN X: I’m here for the Dark Energy. Where is it?
DR WILY: Wh… what are you talking about? That Duo guy destroyed it all 100 years ago…
MEGAMAN X: You’re a bad liar, Wily. I know you had some stashed away back then. That’s how you created what they call the Maverick Virus today, isn’t it? (charges his buster) I won’t ask again; where is it?
DR WILY: A… alright, Megaman… here…
He motions to a safe and opens it, taking out a glass orb filled with the swirling Dark Energy.
MEGAMAN X: At last… Mine at last…
DR WILY: What do you want with it anyway…? Don’t you plan to destroy it?
MEGAMAN X: Hell no! With this, I will become the mightiest being in the universe!
DR WILY: Wait… Y… you’re not Megaman! Just who… or what are you?!
MEGAMAN X: Oh yes… I suppose I have no need for this revolting disguise. I only used it to convince the Mavericks that Megaman X had defected to their side, and enable me to find this place.
A ray surrounds the imposter, causing him to revert back to his true form.
 iX: That’s more like it.
DR WILY: iX??
iX: The one and only.
JADE: You?!
The Alpha Movement stands behind iX, having been alerted to his earlier breach of the lab.
iX: Ah, it’s good to see you all again. Surprised to see me?
 SEADRAGON: I’ll say; I thought we killed you in Dopplertown.
iX: You thought wrong. There is a force beyond your comprehension that has given me another chance to become the supreme being of this world. But you’re too late! The Dark Energy is mine, and combined with the Limited, I shall be invincible!
He turns to the glass orb Wily is still holding and starts toward it, suddenly, a Boomerang Cutter streaks past him and shatters the sphere, allowing its contents to escape into the air and evaporate.
iX: No…! (He turns to Kuwanger, his eyes burning) How dare you!
DR WILY: I’ll say; what the hell are you thinking?! You realize how hard I had to work to get that much energy?!
 DARK KNIGHT: What? It seemed like a good idea at the time.
iX: No matter. I have you all in the palm of my hand. And I will make you all suffer for my last humiliation.
 DARKSAGE: Actually, I wasn’t around for that, so you mind leaving me out of it?
 BRICK: Yeah, me too.
iX: Silence! You will all perish! (approaches the deactivated robot masters) Hm. How archaic. Amazing you’d keep these relics around, doctor. Nostalgia? Oh well; why don’t I see what they’re capable of.
He puts his hands up to them as a multicolored glow swirls about him.
DR WILY: Aw crap…
SEADRAGON: Dammit, Wily! Why do you make these guys’ weapon systems compatible like that?
DR WILY: Shut up! It’s not my fault!
Brick has started his attack, shooting iX with a barrage of Shotgun Ice bullets. The shots evaporate, however, once they strike iX, bathed in Atomic Fire.
iX: Here, catch. (He gathers the flames into a large fireball and launches it at Chill, scorching him from head to toe)
BRICK: Ow… I gotta lay down awhile… (falls over)
ANIME MASTER: You’re gonna pay for that, iX.
iX: Am I? (he fires a Gemini Laser that bounces all over the room, leaving the others scrambling to dodge it) Hey Octo! (Jade looks up) Think fast! (Shocks him with a Thunder Bolt)
JADE: Gahh!!
iX: Who’s next? (Fires a volley of Quick Boomerangs)
DARK KNIGHT: Too easy! He knocks the boomerangs out of the air with his own. Now you’re going down!
Boomer charges iX, when his suddenly vanishes, courtesy of the Time Stopper.
DARK KNIGHT: Wha…
iX: Behind you.
DK Turns around just in time to have a Napalm Bomb dropped on him.
DARK KNIGHT: Yeeeoowww!! Hot! HOT!!! (runs out of the room in a streak of flames)
iX: Hey! No smoking indoors, Kuwanger! Hahaha!
 BLACKBELT: My turn!
He rolls toward iX in the Rolling Shield, who easily jumps it.
iX: What kind of attack was that?
SEADRAGON: A distraction, stupid.
Storm had flown up and sucker punches iX, who falls to the ground with a hard crash. Seadragon immediately follows up with a Storm Tornado, but the force is blocked by the rotating debris of the Junk Shield.
iX: Not a bad offensive, but it’s still futile!
Blackbelt starts another charge with the Rolling Shield, but is snared in iX’s Thunder Claw, turning him into an electrified mace ball which is hurled at Storm, knocking him out of the air.
SEADRAGON: (Staggering to his feet) Is that all you’ve got…?
iX: Of course not (pelts him with Needle Cannon shots before he falls over unconscious).
A spiked tail lashes out from the shadows, ready to strike iX. The dark X catches it in a Shadow Blade, slicing off the end of the tail before burying it in Darksage’s chest.
DARKSAGE: Geh… I could use a nap anyway… (falls over)
 SPARK: Grr… You haven’t beaten us yet! You’ve got the two biggest of us left to deal with!
iX: So you think brute force will overcome me? Bring it!
AM shoots a barrage of fireballs. Columns of the Water Wave spray up all around iX, blocking them and creating a dense could of steam.
ANIME MASTER: Crap… where’d he go?
Without anwering iX blasts Mammoth with a short-range Tornado Hold, hurling him into the air before dropping him to the ground with an earth-shattering thud. An Electric Spark whizzes past the green copy, who leaps into the air to avoid the second one.
SPARK: C’mere!
He leaps after iX, winding up a punch. iX quickly puts up a Star Crash to block it, but the punch flies right though the shield, sending him hard to the ground again.
SPARK: Think some cutesy stars are all you need to block one of MY punches?
iX: (Coughs a little blood up) I dare you to try that again, you damn dirty ape…
SPARK: You asked for it…
He rushes at iX with his fiercest punch yet. iX stands his ground, and at the last minute, an Ice Wall materializes in front of him, stopping the punch and freezing Spark’s arm to the massive ice block in the process. iX plants a Crash Bomb in the ice and leaps back as it sends icy shrapnel into Spark.
iX: That was easy, but I suppose that’s about all I can expect from you weaklings. Now then, what weapon should I use to finish you off…?
Suddenly, iX feels the power of the weapons he just copied leave him.
iX: What the…?! Gone?? Feh… Guess that’s what I get for relying on these fossils for weapons. No matter; doesn’t hurt to keep you around a little longer as my personal punching bags! Later!
iX beams out.
DR WILY: Is… Is he gone yet? *sigh* Well, I guess I’d better see about getting these Mavericks fixed up. Some things never change…
Later, after the Alpha Movement has gotten their damage from the battle repaired.
SIGMA: Irregular X has returned? This sounds like a problem…
VILE: I’ll say. You fools should’ve killed him the first time you fought him!
SEADRAGON: Well, he seemed dead enough to me back then!
JADE: I guess nothing’s for certain with iX.
DARKSAGE: I wonder if the guy’s invincible.
SPARK: Don’t count on that. He just got a couple o’ lucky shots in before. I’ll smash him to pieces next time.
***
Back in Signas’s office in Hunter HQ…
JACK BAUER: I’m telling you, sir! Megaman X is most certainly a Maverick! I saw him slaughter two human beings with my own eyes!
 SIGNAS: Oh? Then explain this!
He shoves a newspaper in Jack’s face. Reading it, he sees a picture of X feeding homeless people at the local soup kitchen.
SIGNAS: X’s photo op at the homeless shelter. At the same time you say he was going Maverick.
JACK BAUER: No! That can’t be! This X is an imposter!
SIGNAS: You moron!! The one you’re chasing around must have been the impostor! Only a complete idiot like you could fall for such an obvious ruse!! Now get out of here and quit wasting my time!!
JACK BAUER: (sighs) Yes, sir.
iX has made his return known, but at least he failed in his attempt to procure the Dark Energy for his own devious purposes. But what does he plan to do now? Find out next time!
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