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Vile in Maverick Hunter X!
 JADE: Howdy ho. It’s your favorite cephalopod with a guide to Vile’s game in Maverick Hunter X. X’s game is the same as the SNES game for the most part, only with prettier graphics and even more kickass music. But Vile adds a totally new element to the game, making it a completely different gameplay experience. Here with me to present this review is our own Mandalorian, Vile!
 VILE: The pleasure is all yours. Now let’s just review this piece of crap and get it over with.
JADE: You didn’t like it?
VILE: I appreciate the effort, don’t get me wrong. I mean, it just makes sense to put me in the game, right? I make WAY better gaming material than that pussy X or his blonde boyfriend. I get to beat the shit out of all of you losers, like I should be doing right now for dragging me into this review. But dammit, they got it all wrong! Is it just me, or did they deliberately make me WEAKER than X?? Inconsistency Numero Uno, right there.
JADE: How so?
VILE: I start with a tiny health bar and I die in maybe three or four hits! How ‘effed up is that?!
JADE: I thought X had the same thing. It’s a simple matter of using your weapons in the right situations. Besides, you do get power ups to remedy that little setback. Why don’t we talk about the weapons first?
VILE: Alright! My favorite subject!! Blowing shit up!
JADE: Vile has a huge arsenal of weapons that work much differently than with X. First, of all, he has three methods of attack, either from the hands, shoulder cannon, or a leg mount. Knowing how and when to use each will be important to defeat foes easily. Vile's weapons all share the same energy bar, which refills itself rather quickly. His energy bar gets longer after every Maverick he beats, and he can't equip weapons when their combined energy is longer than the length of his energy bar.
VILE: At least I don’t have to rely on X’s precious weapon energy! I tell you right now, without that crap, he’s just a Smurf with a gun.
JADE: Vile’s most basic weapons are the kind fired from his hands. These are fired by pressing the Square button. He starts off with a somewhat weak weapon…
VILE: How ‘bout I shoot you in the face and you can tell me if you still think it’s so weak?
JADE: …but you win new weapons after beating certain Mavericks. Every time you select a stage, you are given the option of what weapons to equip. Unlike X, who can switch weapons any time he wants, Vile’s weapons can only be changed at the stage select screen.
VILE: First thing I start with is a Vulcan weapon. Gotta love rapid fire. So here’s the run down on the various Vulcan weapons you can acquire:
>Cherry Blast (default): Fires small gatling shots straight ahead. Weak, but it does have rapid-fire.
>Zip Zapper (Armored Armadillo): It's similar to the Cherry Blast, only it's a little stronger, but it has very short range.
>Buckshot Dance (Sting Chameleon): Fires a spray of bullets in a spread.
>Distance Needler (Chill Penguin): This one doesn't have rapid-fire, but it's the strongest Vulcan weapon, plus it can pierce armor. Range is excellent as well.
>Triple Seven (Flame Mammoth): A stronger version of the Buckshot Dance, but it also uses more energy.
JADE: A nice variety of weapons already. Which do you like using?
VILE: Buckshot Dance is cool. I love having a spread-gun. The Distance Needler is also nice. It doesn’t have rapid fire, but those shots it fires are around as powerful as one of X’s charge shots.
JADE: The Triple Seven might be more useful if not for the large energy usage, so you can’t even equip it until later. But the Vulcan isn’t the only hand weapon, is there?
VILE: No. After I turn your sorry ass into sushi, I get to use missiles. Didn’t you see how much you sound like a flaming faggot in this game?
JADE: Now Vile, can we try to stay away from the prejudiced remarks? We’re not the X-treme Team, so let’s not act like it.
VILE: You just don’t want to admit where you really like putting those tentacles of yours. Besides, the X-treme Team were my role models.
JADE: *Sigh* Can continue with this review, please??
VILE: Yeah, whatever… Freakin’ fairy…
>Humerus Crush (Launch Octopus): Fires a simple missile shot straight ahead.
>Popcorn Demon (Sting Chameleon): Fires missiles that explode into a 3-way spread cluster. It's not very powerful, but its range is excellent.
>Banzai Beetle (Storm Eagle): Fires a wide missile with better range than the Humerus Crush.
>Lost Lamb (Launch Octopus): Fires missiles that travel in an irregular path. You can fire lots of them, so they're okay for clearing out weak enemies.
>Serotinal Bullet (Chill Penguin): Very much like the Photon Missile from MM5GB. This missile hovers for a moment, then shoots ahead.
JADE: That Popcorn Demon was really cool. You can almost fill the screen with missiles with that little gem.
VILE: Perhaps, but it lacks attack power. The Serotinal Bullet packs a lot more punch. Other than that, I wasn’t crazy about any of them. Heheh, your weapons suck, squid-face!
JADE: … So then let’s look at the last of the hand weapons, the fist, which you get after beating Spark Mandrill. That’s right Vile, you get to fist people now!
VILE: Alright, asshole! You wanna go?? Let’s step outside!!
JADE: Wow. Talk about being able to dish it out but can’t take it. You’re weak against my weapon anyway.
VILE: I have no goddamn weakness!! They just put that in the game ‘cause I would’ve mopped the floor with X’s ass if they didn’t give him a handicap!
JADE: Uh huh. So anyway, the fist weapon?
VILE: Yeah, yeah. Okay I get to punch. Whooptie doo.
>Go-Getter Right (Spark Mandrill): Fires a fist straight ahead, ala the Hard Knuckle.
>Spoiled Brat (Launch Octopus): It's weaker than the Go-Getter Right, but much faster as well.
>Egoistic Pill (Armored Armadillo): This fist can pierce armor, but its long recovery time makes it a rather unconventional weapon.
>Golden Right (Launch Octopus): This has perhaps the best attack power of all weapons, but its range is pitiful.
>Infinity Gig (Chill Penguin): Fires a homing fist that also pierces armor. Arguably the best of the punch types.
JADE: I dunno; the Infinity Gig is really nice.
VILE: Okay, I’ll give it that much. I like the Golden Right’s power, but having a little range is nice too.
JADE: So those are just the hand weapons. Now we can move on to the shoulder weapons. These are fired by pressing Triangle. These weapons are fired by Vile’s shoulder cannon and are your best choice against aerial enemies. This normally fires at a 45 degree angle. Holding Down will fire it straight ahead, and holding Up will fire it at an 80 degree angle. Note that when fired in mid-air, Vile will be suspended temporarily. Take advantage of this to ‘glide’ to out of the way ledges.
VILE: Was that intentional or was it some kind of programming glitch?
JADE: I dunno, but it’s useful to get to some of those hard-to-reach places.
VILE: Anyway, I like these better than the sucky hand weapons. I start with a Cannon weapon and we go from there after kicking more Alpha Movement ass.
>Front Runner (default): Fires a cannon shot similar to one of X's charge shots.
>Trident Line (Sting Chameleon): Fires three shots, one at a time, similar to the Front Runner. It has long recovery time, though.
>Fatboy (Boomer Kuwanger): Fires a very powerful cannon shot. Its only drawback is high energy usage.
>Fire Murrain (Flame Mammoth): Fires a shot that explodes after traveling a short distance. A great anti-aerial weapon.
>Longshot Gizmo (Storm Eagle): Operates similar to the Trident Line, only it fires five shots instead of three.
JADE: The Fatboy and Fire Murrain are probably the best in this category.
VILE: I can’t argue with that. Nothing beats big lasers and explosions. As much as it make me nauseous to agree with you…
JADE: So after beating Sting Chameleon, you get the ability to use Laser weapons.
VILE: Yeah, the best part is this game is the only place I can see him where he’s not sleeping on the job!
>Cerberus Phantom (Sting Chameleon): It's essentially the Chameleon Sting; it fires three lasers in a spread pattern.
>Nervous Ghost (Flame Mammoth): Fires a single potent laser shot.
>Rising Specter (Flame Mammoth): This laser only fires at a 45 degree angle, but it's very wide and quite powerful.
>Straight Nightmare (Storm Eagle): It's much like the Storm Tornado. It can pierce armor, but it only fires straight ahead.
>Necro Burst (Launch Octopus): Instantly decimates any nearby enemies, but its energy usage is immense.
JADE: Almost any of these weapons are really good. Especially the Straight Nightmare, if not for the fact that you can’t angle the shots.
VILE: But it’s got power, and that’s what I want! The Rising Specter has decent range, though. Are we almost done?
JADE: Not quite. We still have the Boomerang weapons.
VILE: Yeah, I get these after squashing Jiminy Cricket. Well, I have to admit though, most of these weapons are pretty badass.
>Metal Crescent (Boomer Kuwanger): Fires three cutters that return. They aren’t powerful, but they have decent range.
>Quick Homesick (Flame Mammoth): Most similar to X’s Boomerang Cutter. It fires a single cutter that returns. Its attack power is lacking, but it’s the only boomerang weapon that can snag items.
>Parasite Sword (Chill Penguin): This boomerang doesn't return, but it grows larger and wider as it travels farther, and can pierce armor.
>Two-Headed Slash (Launch Octopus): Similar to X4's Twin Slasher, it fires two cutters that spread out.
>Marooned Tomahawk (Armored Armadillo): Fires a cutter that travels a short ways and just spins in place for a while. It's armor piercing as well.
JADE: The Quick Homesick is pretty much essential to snare some of the power-ups that you need here.
VILE: Yeah, but for attack power, the Parasite Sword and Marooned Tomahawk completely PWN.
JADE: That’s true. The Two-Headed Slash is a neat one as well.
VILE: So is that all for the shoulder weapons?
JADE: Yep. Our last category is the leg mount weapons, fired with the Circle button. This fires from a cannon on Vile’s knee. When fired in the air, the projectile travels straight down instead of ahead. These are usually Vile’s strongest weapons, but they also have long recovery times, leaving him wide open to attack.
VILE: Otherwise, I’d be using these all the time. The first type are the Bombs. Now THIS is what I’m talking about!
>Bumpity Boom (default): Fires a simple grenade. It's Vile's strongest starting weapon.
>Rumbling Bang (Spark Mandrill): Shoots a grenade that has a wide horizontal blast radius.
>Splash Hit (Launch Octopus): This grenade releases a vertical whirlpool, similar to Octo's Marine Tornado.
>Territorial Pow (Armored Armadillo): This seems to be more defensive; it creates three spheres that act as a shield.
>Bangaway Bomb (Storm Eagle): This grenade releases a major explosion that rips through much of the ground in front of it.
JADE: Uh huh. Most of these weapons are really good. Except for the Territorial Pow.
VILE: It’s too impractical as a shield anyway. Besides, I hate being defensive! Offense, baby!!
JADE: So now we have the Ball weapon, which you get after beating Armored Armadillo.
VILE: Well I’m running out of stuff to say about these, so here they are…
>Deadstar Hug (Armored Armadillo): Like the Rolling Shield, it fires a sphere that rebounds once and travels across the ground.
>Peace Out Roller (Spark Mandrill): Similar to the Electric Spark. This weapon shoots an electric sphere that breaks into two on the ground.
>Sword Bouquet (Flame Mammoth): Shoots a fireball that erupts the ground in front of it, much like X's charged Fire Wave.
>Hot Icicle (Sting Chameleon): This is a weird one. It's like the Sword Bouquet, only it travels along the ceiling instead of the ground.
>Stubborn Crawler (Boomer Kuwanger): Probably the best ball weapon; it travels up walls and can pierce armor.
JADE: You know what’s weird? The Peace Out Roller is the only weapon that’ll zap Armi’s armor off, yet you can’t acquire it until AFTER you’ve already beaten him.
VILE: Pshaw. His puny armor can’t protect him from me!
JADE: But you know what’s really weird? That thing called Deadstar Hug; sounds a lot like Death Star Hug.
VILE: I wish. I could just imagine the look on X’s face if I shot the mutha’ fuckin’ Death Star at him!! Heheheh…
JADE: So finally, our last category is Flame Throwers.
VILE: Gee, I wonder who gives you that weapon? Could it be… Dumbo?
JADE: Uh… I guess…
VILE: Still, flame throwers, it doesn’t get much better than that.
JADE: Didn’t Jango Fett have a flame thrower?
VILE: Grrrr… (Starts fingering his shoulder cannon)
JADE: What?? I said nothing about Boba.
VILE: You did now!! (Blasts Jade with the shoulder cannon) So anyways, the flame throwers which have NOTHING to do with any damn Fetts…
>Wild Horse Kick (Flame Mammoth): Shoots a short stream of fire straight ahead, similar to X’s Fire Wave.
>Dragon's Wrath (Storm Eagle): Fires a long tongue of green flame that arcs slightly.
>Green-Eyed Lamp (Sting Chameleon): It sprays flames that flare up at the very end of it.
>Sea Dragon's Rage (Chill Penguin): Certainly the best flame thrower. It has very long range and it's the only flame thrower that can be used underwater.
>Burning Drive (Boomer Kuwanger): Causes the immediate area around Vile to explode in flame.
JADE: (Gets back up, smoldering a bit) Okay, just this once, I’ll pretend that DIDN’T happen… So anyway, the Sea Dragon’s Rage is probably the best flame thrower. Long range, powerful, and you can use it underwater.
VILE: Yeah, but they’re all fun to play with. Burn, little piggies, BURN!!!
JADE: Great, as if AM wasn’t enough… Another pyromaniac…
VILE: Come on!! Who doesn’t like to play with fire??
JADE: Anyhow, there are two other items you win from the Mavericks that aren’t weapons, but they’re perhaps the most useful items you can get. The Frozen Castle from Chill Penguin that doubles Vile’s defense power, just like X’s armor upgrade. Then there’s Storm Eagle’s Speed Devil. Sadly, they don’t let Vile dash in this game…
VILE: Assholes.
JADE: But the Speed Devil does enable Vile to run faster, which does improve matters a bit.
VILE: So that’s it, huh?
JADE: Yep.
VILE: Great. I’m outta here.
JADE: Wait a minute! We haven’t covered the rest of the game!
VILE: *Sigh* Fine… What else is there to cover?
JADE: How about the setup of the game itself?
VILE: Alright…
JADE: So the stages are set up pretty much the same as it is in X’s game. Only you do fight a couple of different bosses with Vile, and most of the Heart Tanks and Sub Tanks are in different places.
VILE: Yeah, and some of them are near-impossible to find.
JADE: I have to agree with that. How about the mecha that you get to ride?
VILE: Why did they make it a step DOWN from the one X gets to drive?! I actually have a countdown timer that dictates how long I can be in the mecha before it self-destructs. Not only that, but it blows up automatically if I ever jump out, so for moments where I have to use it as a boost to reach something, I have to make damn sure I’m lined up perfectly because I won’t have a second chance! I mean, I’M supposed to have the badass mech here, not X!
JADE: Next, let’s have a look at the actual locations of the Heart and Sub Tanks. As I said before, most of them are in different places than in X’s game. First, the Hearts:
Launch Octopus – It’s in the same place as in X’s game.
Chill Penguin – It’s in the first blue dome-thing you encounter. X could destroy them with the Fire Wave, but Vile needs his mecha. It’s on the other side of the cave with all the other mecha-riding Reploids. When you find the mech, jump to the left and take the easy path over the cave so you reach your target in time.
Flame Mammoth – It’s where the Sub-Tank was in X’s game.
Armored Armadillo – Near the end of the stage, where the Hadoken capsule was in X’s game. You’ll be riding floating platforms across the chasm, so you’ll have to take the highest road possible (and take advantage of Vile’s shoulder-cannon hover)
Boomer Kuwanger – It’s at the top of the elevator section, on an out-of-the-way platform. You’ll have to have Storm Eagle’s speed boost and quickly jump off the last platform to reach it, or snag it with Quick Homesick.
Storm Eagle – It’s on the roof of the control tower, above where the Sub-Tank would’ve been in X’s game. You can reach it fairly easily with the floating platform.
Spark Mandrill – It’s in the same place as in X’s game. Vile needs to have his mecha and use it as a boost; jump so you’re under the gap you can access it from, and jump out of the mech. Quick Homesick also works.
Sting Chameleon – When you reach the second lumberjack guy (the one near the top of the screen), don’t kill him; jump on the log thing he shoots and ride it to the tank.
VILE: Most of those actually aren’t so bad. The shit really starts to hit the fan when you’re trying to collect the Sub Tanks.
Launch Octopus - Right before the second serpent fight (the one not guarding the heart tank). Climb the column right before fighting the serpent, and you may see the tank on the waters surface to the left of the pillar. If you have the Speed Devil, you may reach it by getting to the very edge of the pillar and pumping to the left. You may also bring the mecha here and use it as a boost, or snare it with Quick Homesick.
Storm Eagle - What were those stage designers thinking?! This one is ridiculously hard to get. The sub-tank is behind the metal crates at the very end of the flying platform section that can only be destroyed by the mecha. The mech is in the control tower, where X's sub-tank was. You have to get the mecha to that part with the boxes, and time it so you get the mecha to explode when the platform by the crates moves in front of them. I guarantee this will take many, many tries to get.
Boomer Kuwanger - It's in the same spot as the heart tank was in X's game. Use Quick Homesick to get it.
Sting Chameleon - This one also requires some tricky mecha exploits, but it's nowhere near as bad as Storm Eagle's. You'll get the mecha in the same spot as X's buster upgrade. Then, take it through the cave section about 2/3 of the way through. There will be a gap in the ceiling you must use the mecha to boost yourself through, allowing you to reach the tank. I think you can also reach it with Quick Homesick.
VILE: The ones in Birdy’s and Skink’s stages were a friggin’ nightmare to get! Why did they do this? To up the challenge? Well I’ll tell you this; it shouldn’t BE challenging for Vile! Vile should be able to waste all of these turkeys blindfolded! Vile shouldn’t even NEED Sub Tanks to begin with!
JADE: Oh great, he’s starting to talk in the third person… Well then let’s talk about Vile’s actual story in this game… what little there is.
VILE: Tch. Like we need one. I’m just out to kick ass and take names, and to prove to all that I, Vile, am the baddest Reploid to walk this earth! Though I really shouldn’t have to prove it, since that, my friend, is a known fact.
JADE: Right… So the first boss you fight, at the end of the highway stage, is X.
VILE: That’s right, and X sure had some fanboy of his programming the game, because he is way harder for me to beat than he should be. I pretty much have to depend on jumping over him and dropping bombs on him, because he kicks my ass somehow if I run up and try shooting him with the gatling gun.
JADE: The rest of the game pretty much speaks for itself, up until the third Sigma level, where you would normally fight Vile if playing X’s game.
VILE: … I don’t want to talk about this…
JADE: Then I will. So here, you fight X and Zero together. They have a sort of tag team thing going on, where they'll bring their buddy in after a certain amount of time. Also, they both share the same life bar. Neither of them has any real weakness, so you'll want to equip Vile with some hard-hitting weapons. I suggest equipping the Distance Needler, Parasite Sword, and Sea Dragon's Rage for this fight, especially having a boomerang weapon: You'll fight Chill Penguin, Sting Chameleon, and Flame Mammoth before reaching X and Zero, and Sting may be difficult to put down without a boomerang. Zero can block your attacks when he’s standing still, so don't bother attacking him then. Just wait until he attacks, leaving himself open. The best time is when he does a flame kick, ala Magma Dragoon. X is also a bit tough, since he uses some of the Maverick weapons in his fight. His most annoying is when he uses the charged Rolling Shield to give himself a temporary force field. Just stay defensive until they leave themselves open and hit them fast and hard. You certainly want some full Sub Tanks for this.
VILE: … And then, I should get to go on and kick Sigma’s ass after this, right? BUT NO!! Those two twats are the final boss!! But that’s not what REALLY pisses me off… Oh no… You know what really pisses me off about this? You really wanna know? Go on, Octopussy, ask me what REALLY pisses me off about this game.
JADE: *Sigh* This won’t end well… Okay Vile, what REALLY pisses you off about this game?
VILE: You really want to know? Okay, I’ll tell you… I DIE IN THE GODDAMN ENDING!!! Now I could take all of the bullshit up until this point. But the way they end it is just a slap in the face!! Here’s how it was supposed to end; I kill X and Zero reeeeeeal good, okay? Let them crawl and squirm on the ground begging for their lives before I blow them completely out of existence! Sorry Zero, no sequels for you, ‘cause you ain’t coming back!! Then I kill Sigma in the exact same way before I take my rightful place as the most powerful Reploid in existence!
 SIGMA: What’s that??
VILE: Lord Sigma!! I… I didn’t see you come in!! You know I was just kidding around, right? Just guy talk, right?? I’m at your disposal, sir!
SIGMA: Good… Then I guess you won’t mind cleaning Velgauder’s doghouse and kennel? It hasn’t been cleaned in a month either, so wear gloves. Come along, I’ll show you where the cleaning agents are.
Sigma leaves the doorway
VILE: You are SO getting some Champion’s Training when I’m done, squid-face!
SIGMA: (Down the hall) Come along, Vile!
VILE: Coming, sir!!
Vile leaves.
JADE: Well, I guess that’s it for the review. Maverick Hunter X is a great game that any Megaman X fan with a PSP would be a fool to pass up, despite what Vile said about it. Speaking of which, I’d better look for a place to hide… I don’t want to be around when he’s finished cleaning.
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